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humor  // Browsing posts in humor

Jun 07 2008 Posted by in humor | 3 comments

Truths, Vol. 5

Another batch of my muttering musings for your transengendered medication. • Your element is a place you should remain far from when expecting creativity. • Having YouTube subscribers does not make you a network programming executive. You’re probably overqualified. • Never let someone review a rough cut who doesn’t understand what one is. • You […]

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Feb 09 2008 Posted by in entertainment, humor | Comments Off on Soul Nurses From Hell

Soul Nurses From Hell

Whatever you thought of last year’s Grindhouse (for me, any nit-picky disappointments were suppressed by the fact it got made at all), nearly everyone agrees the best parts were the trailers before and between. Hope ya saw it in the theater, because they’re sadly missing from the current home video releases. Fear not, though, because […]

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Dec 17 2007 Posted by in humor | Comments Off on To-Do List, Week of 12/17

To-Do List, Week of 12/17

• Compare prices of gift billiards sets for Amy Winehouse after inability to buy just the eight ball as requested• Upgrade Miami Dolphins face-bag with blow hole• Inquire about J.K. Rowling’s return policy re: handmade goods• MapQuest this “North Star” place so I can attend some Jewish baby’s christening, even though his mom never put […]

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Nov 05 2007 Posted by in humor | 1 comment

To-Do List, Week of 11/5

• Pick up waivers for Mr. Copperfield• Contact paternity lawyer re: weekend with Xtina• Get tattoo before leaving for Slovakian hostel• Hold up convenience-store line by paying with cash• Decide on a presidential candidate• Calculate fewest number of paces between my office and three adjacent Starbucks• Tuesday breakfast drinks with Amy Winehouse• Blog about under-the-radar […]

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Oct 28 2007 Posted by in humor, multimedia | Comments Off on No Habla Técnico

No Habla Técnico

As a multimedia producer, I constantly find myself playing the role of interpreter between the writers, designers and video folks in my company, and the technical people (IT, programmers, engineers). As such, I frequently encounter written communication that one group finds confusing to the other. Do you have any general tips and tricks for translating […]

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Sep 25 2007 Posted by in humor | Comments Off on Truths, Vol. 4

Truths, Vol. 4

No one knows anything, least of all those who claim to. If you’re a guitarist with more than three fingers and use a capo, you’re playing the song in the wrong key. Buying a cool new iPhone won’t make it ring any more frequently. Size may matter, but you should never cease trimming. Actors are […]

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Jul 08 2007 Posted by in humor, multimedia | 1 comment

On-Set Translation

What they say. What they mean. “Picture’s up.”Get out of the frame and shut your pie holes. “Let’s go again; that shot went a little soft.”Because you’re also an exec producer, I’m blaming the focus puller for your wooden acting. “Check the gate.”If we have to do another take of this, I’ll slit my wrists. […]

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Mar 01 2007 Posted by in humor | Comments Off on Truths, Vol. 3

Truths, Vol. 3

The quality of a magazine is inversely proportional to the number of ad pages before its table of contents. Perfection is possible, just unlikely. One single sentence can conjure more imagery than a reel of film. Not that sentence, but, you know, a really, really good one. Even Jennifer Lopez gets diarrhea sometimes. No, I […]

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Jan 28 2007 Posted by in entertainment, humor | 2 comments

Awards Show Etiquette

‘Tis the Season, and since I know all the industry insiders read this blog between meetings and lighting setups in their trailers, for your consideration I present the following tips to make your big night a memorable, gaffe-free one. • Orange is the new tan. With February nearing, it’s time to externalize your inner Oompa […]

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Dec 11 2006 Posted by in humor, music | Comments Off on A KJ FU

A KJ FU

This is on the fringe of interest, musicians maybe, but I felt compelled to write about it. Karaoke has become an epidemic in the U.S. over the past several years. In a way, it’s replaced Ladies Night. People living out their American Idol fantasies for our amusement and occasional awe. Sure, I could go on […]

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