Category Archives: humor

Truths, Vol. 5

Another batch of my muttering musings for your transengendered medication. • Your element is a place you should remain far from when expecting creativity. • Having YouTube subscribers does not make you a network programming executive. You’re probably overqualified. • … Continue reading

Posted in humor | Tagged | 3 Comments

Truths, Vol. 4

No one knows anything, least of all those who claim to. If you’re a guitarist with more than three fingers and use a capo, you’re playing the song in the wrong key. Buying a cool new iPhone won’t make it … Continue reading

Posted in humor | Tagged | Comments Off on Truths, Vol. 4

On-Set Translation

What they say. What they mean. “Picture’s up.”Get out of the frame and shut your pie holes. “Let’s go again; that shot went a little soft.”Because you’re also an exec producer, I’m blaming the focus puller for your wooden acting. … Continue reading

Posted in humor, multimedia | Tagged , | 1 Comment

Truths, Vol. 3

The quality of a magazine is inversely proportional to the number of ad pages before its table of contents. Perfection is possible, just unlikely. One single sentence can conjure more imagery than a reel of film. Not that sentence, but, … Continue reading

Posted in humor | Tagged | Comments Off on Truths, Vol. 3

Awards Show Etiquette

‘Tis the Season, and since I know all the industry insiders read this blog between meetings and lighting setups in their trailers, for your consideration I present the following tips to make your big night a memorable, gaffe-free one. • … Continue reading

Posted in entertainment, humor | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Movies I’d Pay to See

In high-concept Hollywood, idea is king. The single-sentence pitch. Here are a few of my aborted attempts at “star vehicles” for celebrities who could use a career-energizing role. Normally I don’t like to just give away my golden tickets for … Continue reading

Posted in entertainment, humor | Tagged | Comments Off on Movies I’d Pay to See

My Television Education

I like to think that all those years spent in front of the idiot box made me a better person. TV is a great way to learn about how the world works. Were it not for television, I would never … Continue reading

Posted in entertainment, humor | Tagged , | Comments Off on My Television Education

Truths, Vol. 2

• Ego only becomes an obstacle when it’s not yours. • Some natives believe that each photo captures part of your soul. Do the red carpet math to understand the vapidity of celebs. • Every minute spent rehearsing prolongs your … Continue reading

Posted in humor | Tagged | Comments Off on Truths, Vol. 2

The Dead Kennedys Were Tame

I am obsessed with unusual band names, and I confess to keeping a running list on my laptop that I’ll add to whenever inspiration strikes. You never know when your polka-core group is going to take off. . . Anyway, … Continue reading

Posted in humor, music | 1 Comment

Truths, Vol. 1

I’ve learned a thing or two in this business. A lot of businesses, actually. And if I can prevent just one of you from making the same mistakes I’ve made, it will all be worth it. Okay, that’s horseshit. But … Continue reading

Posted in humor | Tagged | Comments Off on Truths, Vol. 1