Truths, Vol. 5

Another batch of my muttering musings for your transengendered medication.

Your element is a place you should remain far from when expecting creativity.

• Having YouTube subscribers does not make you a network programming executive. You’re probably overqualified.

• Never let someone review a rough cut who doesn’t understand what one is.

• You pay Ticketmaster for the convenience of . . . paying for a ticket. They’re completely unnecessary unless you live somewhere acres or cattle outnumber humans. (Hint: “box office”)

• Paying fifty bucks to see Scott Weiland fall off a stage is not a badge of honor. It’s gambling. If I show up drunk for work, I get fired.

• If god didn’t intend for us to use soft-focus filters, he wouldn’t have invented Edward James Olmos.

• On Battlestar Galactica, “frak” can be loosely translated as “smurf.”

• Producer and engineer are not the same job. Just like waitress and chef. Don’t be fooled by any overlap, like making drinks or procuring smack.

• Compromise is never an improvement if between more than two directions.

The Office is not a documentary. It’s miniaturist comedy. (That’s what she said…)

• If you write all your songs in the key of C, just slap any of the white keys and you’re “improvising.” Or any black keys for B. Two gentrified neighborhoods just one note apart: Black, Caucasian.

• He who laughs last should not go out to movie theaters.

• When you’ve run out of ideas, you run into remakes.

About Gordon

Gordon Highland is the author of the novels Flashover and Major Inversions, with short stories in such publications as Word Riot, Black Heart, Noir at the Bar Vol. 2, and Warmed and Bound, among others. He lives in the Kansas City area, where he makes videos by day and music by night.
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3 Responses to Truths, Vol. 5

  1. Caleb J Ross says:

    …and when you haven’t the resources for a remake you convince yourself that “reality” is an idea.

  2. G says:

    And when you’ve run out of reality, you run into reruns.

    And when you’ve run out of reruns hopefully you’ll pick up a book for a change.

  3. Gob says:

    Truth: JK Rowling cannot possibly be an environmentalist given her massive waste of timber.

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