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humor  // Browsing posts in humor

Dec 07 2006 Posted by in entertainment, humor | Comments Off on Movies I’d Pay to See

Movies I’d Pay to See

In high-concept Hollywood, idea is king. The single-sentence pitch. Here are a few of my aborted attempts at “star vehicles” for celebrities who could use a career-energizing role. Normally I don’t like to just give away my golden tickets for free, but I trust you people. As Tom Cruise’s detective character nears retirement, he must […]


Dec 06 2006 Posted by in entertainment, humor | Comments Off on My Television Education

My Television Education

I like to think that all those years spent in front of the idiot box made me a better person. TV is a great way to learn about how the world works. Were it not for television, I would never have come to realize that: No one actually works at their jobs; they are there […]


Dec 05 2006 Posted by in humor | Comments Off on No Gnus is Good Gnus

No Gnus is Good Gnus

When I graduated with my degree in broadcasting, I vowed not to contribute to the problem, and have since stayed away from all news jobs. Why I Can’t Watch the Local News Anymore: They consider people dying more interesting than people living. Using the news desk to promote their network’s primetime programming. If we wanted […]


Nov 08 2006 Posted by in humor | Comments Off on Truths, Vol. 2

Truths, Vol. 2

• Ego only becomes an obstacle when it’s not yours. • Some natives believe that each photo captures part of your soul. Do the red carpet math to understand the vapidity of celebs. • Every minute spent rehearsing prolongs your career by the same amount. • Give someone a wireless if you want them to […]


Oct 31 2006 Posted by in humor, music | 1 comment

The Dead Kennedys Were Tame

I am obsessed with unusual band names, and I confess to keeping a running list on my laptop that I’ll add to whenever inspiration strikes. You never know when your polka-core group is going to take off. . . Anyway, in my online travels, here are some others that I’ve stumbled over that put my […]


Oct 30 2006 Posted by in humor | Comments Off on Truths, Vol. 1

Truths, Vol. 1

I’ve learned a thing or two in this business. A lot of businesses, actually. And if I can prevent just one of you from making the same mistakes I’ve made, it will all be worth it. Okay, that’s horseshit. But I needed an introductory paragraph, and the illusion of altruism was too alluring (as was […]


Oct 08 2006 Posted by in entertainment, humor | Comments Off on Sunday Drive

Sunday Drive

Another Sunday, another NFL post. Damn, I love this game. As an ex-broadcaster, though, there are lots of little annoyances that just eat at me all afternoon as I slip further into my weekly couch-assisted coma: • Analysts who hold a football while giving their field report, just in case I forget what sport they’re […]


Oct 07 2006 Posted by in entertainment, humor | 3 comments

Naked Celebs

That oughta get the Google spiders working, eh? I love passionate films where actors lose themselves in roles, completely selling us on their physical or emotional transformation. Recently, an actress friend was asking about being in my next short film, and she made a deliberate point that nudity would not be a problem in the […]


Sep 25 2006 Posted by in entertainment, humor | Comments Off on Strong Like Bull

Strong Like Bull

We gotta understand a few things about these boner-pill ads. First, the disclaimer. Erections lasting more than four hours may require medical attention. This is less a warning than marketing. “Wha– huh? You mean I might be able to go four hours? Cancel my afternoon appointments, Jeannie, and unpack all those gels from my carry-on.” […]