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Promo Copy Cats

Oct 19 2008 Posted by in entertainment, humor, writing | Comments Off on Promo Copy Cats

Cutting through network promotions clichéd hyperbole. What they say. What they mean.

The show everyone’s talking about.
Everyone being those in our programming department whose jobs are on the line. It’s been a ratings disappointment despite the buzz cash we poured into ads and promotion.

See the show critics are calling “X.”
We doomed it with a bad time slot. Also, I told you, not everything we produce is reality-based.

The surprise hit of the season.
We underestimated audience tastes and only ordered eight episodes.

Presented with limited commercial interruptions by X.
All your favorite characters will be wearing X, driving X, and eating X. Thank your DVR for forcing us to remote-proof our shows.

Catch X at its new time.
The show got its ass kicked by the competition, so now it’s going slumming.

. . . with an ending you have to see to believe.
Horatio will remove his sunglasses and deliver a wry quip before a “to be continued” graphic blueballs you.

Promotional consideration provided by X.
It was very considerate of them to pay us or shower us with free schwag.

The television event of the year.
We’re betting the farm that you can be peer-pressured into watching.

Don’t miss an unforgettable X.
Wrangle the wife, because we’re about to inject some uncharacteristic sentiment.