The quality of a magazine is inversely proportional to the number of ad pages before its table of contents.
Perfection is possible, just unlikely.
One single sentence can conjure more imagery than a reel of film. Not that sentence, but, you know, a really, really good one.
Even Jennifer Lopez gets diarrhea sometimes.
No, I do not think your MySpace blog would make a good screenplay.
All art is the physical expression or representation of an emotion.
No one can stop you from following your dreams – until they intersect with mine, and then I’ll have to discourage your no-talent ass.
Media critics should be voted upon yearly to be retained/expelled by their constituents, just like municipal judges.
The more whooshes and thuds in a movie trailer, the less likely I am to go see it.
Your book is not worth my week spent reading, much less your two years’ writing. Don’t waste either of our time.
Music should stimulate the hips first, and the heart second. The brain is far down the list, below even the neck.
Fame and talent are not synonymous. You can buy an audience’s ticket, but you can’t make them come.
More money should be spent on what’s in front of the camera than behind it.
A televised nipple never inspired a child to shoot his classmates.
Michael Medved is no more credible a critic than Michael Moore is a documentarian.
Songs are what they play between commercials on the radio.
I already know there are twelve notes, yet every American Idol diva-in-training must remind me of each of them before concluding a vocal phrase.
