Featurette at IMDB

Sure, it’s nearly four years old now, but due to the modest success of my short film, Featurette, I’ve finally been invited into the online pantheon of . . . official existence, with an IMDb entry. Better yet, you can now watch the entire thing at pretty high quality right there as well. Congrats to the cast and crew on their own entries, too. So kick back and have a few cinematic laughs for nostalgia’s sake.

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Trite Tropes

Cinema is a language with its own conventions. The audience must be familiar with certain patterns, even unconsciously, for the transfer of visuals to register properly. Establishing a scene with a wide shot to get our bearings, not crossing the 180-degree axis, keeping the flow of action moving in a single screen direction – folks become disoriented when these conventions are broken. However, a number of story-specific shots have become part of our shared language as well, and, effective as they may be, I could happily go the rest of my life without ever seeing any of the following tired compositions on screen again.

• the toilet-cam point of view as an interrogated face is dunked into it

• establishing a crime scene by tracking the unspooling of yellow police tape

• cutting to the defendant flinching as the judge’s gavel cracks. See also: flinching mourners at a 21-gun salute

• bolting upright into camera after coming out of a nightmare

• a train approaching and passing over the camera for no apparent reason

• the final-second resignation on a bad-guy’s face just before a bomb blows him to pieces

• closing a dead compatriot’s eyes with a hand

• the awkward elevator ride with cheesy muzak as a moment of comic relief during an action sequence

• full-screen “access granted” computer terminal graphics

• the (unrealistic) black matte for binoculars point of view. See also: in softcore, the voyeur watching through their video camera will somehow see a scene assembled from coverage of wide, medium, and close shots.

• pan to the fireplace and defocus as the stars make love on the bed. Ironically, this can be called “going soft.”

• macro-focusing to the barrel of a gun pointed at camera

• sliding someone down the length of a bar in a fight, taking out all manners of glassware in their path

• refrigerator point of view as someone rummages through it. See also: medicine cabinets. Guess I just hate POV shots in general unless they represent a person.

• a room whose light level remains nearly the same once the lights are turned out. Now it’s just blue.

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Reel Time

Time for a new gig. Like everybody else. Been thinking about going freelance (shooter mostly, maybe cutter). Never needed to make a demo reel before. Any ideas on what to include?

Only your best work. Quality is far more important than length; it’s not a career retrospective. If there’s a type of project you’re not interested in taking on anymore, remove those examples no matter how good they look, because invariably those will be the calls you’ll get. If your work includes celebrities or familiar campaigns, feature them up front, even at the expense of better material. Name recognition raises eyebrows and implies professionalism. And as you know, some unique POVs or exotic locales can supercede image quality as well. While too many people focus on proving they’re a jack-of-all-trades (at the expense of impact), if you’re looking for a full-time gig, highlighting your diversity can be an asset.

Be clear about the role you performed in a shot or sequence. Don’t let us assume you were the DP if you pulled focus. Don’t feature CGI if you’re a Steadicam op. I once received a reel full of dazzling ESPN graphics, only to learn the applicant was a producer who made the phone calls that got the work done. Why she even had a reel I’ll never understand. Depending on the jobs you’re going after, you might create multiple cuts to narrow the viewer’s focus, especially if you’re a freelancer: editing, sound design, cinematography, viz fx, etc. Or even by market if you’re that guy: commercial, retail, corporate, docco, etc. But only if you’ve got the goods; don’t stretch yourself too thin.

Oh, and don’t steal your music. Drop a little money on some royalty-free cuts or find a friend who could use the exposure. Setting the right tone without distraction is important.

As for how to get them seen, you’re on your own. YouTube will probably degrade the image too much. There are some dedicated hosting services (that’ll place yours right alongside your competitors, for better or worse), but I’m not really in the loop on those at the moment.

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RED With Envy

A former professor sent me an email recently about a movie shoot, and mentioned that they would be using a “Red Camera.” What is this new camera, and what are your thoughts on it? Is it a good product, is it expensive, and/or worth the cost?

RED. The short answer is that it’s a brand name for a completely modular digital camera system that combines still-camera resolution with the fast frame rates of film. You buy a “brain” plus any other components you want, all of which are compatible: power, storage, monitoring, I/O jacks, lenses, etc. No tapes; it records on your choice of a RAID, flash drive, or CF cards. The idea is that when your needs change, you only have to buy a new brain. These rely on a line of sensors they call Mysterium. This determines what size image it can resolve, which starts at 3K (3000 pixels wide), and the largest sensor available next year will do 28K.

For some perspective, a 2K image is around HD quality, and is what most 35mm feature films are scanned at for color correction (a “digital intermediate” or “DI” you may hear it called) and/or home video. Effects shots are often scanned at 4K to preserve fine details. IMAX is around 9K. Doing the math, you’ll see that a 28K image is over 100 times the size of a frame of HD. Today’s high-end SLR still cameras max out around 20 megapixels. RED offers the equivalent of 261 megapixels. In other words, pants-shittingly ginormous.

At the moment, few media outlets can benefit from these sizes, but consider the sharpness you achieve when scaling such images down. Last year I received a ton of RED footage from an agency to edit into one of my projects, and was initially only mildly impressed, until I understood that the 720×405 clips had been scaled to around 1/30 the size of their originals! The image was noiseless and very transparent.

Speed is also important, and the larger the frame, the fewer of them per second it can resolve. The 28K model will be capable of just 30 fps, but many of the smaller resolutions can do up to 250 fps, for very sharp slo-mo. Or just 1 fps if you want to undercrank. Another major selling point is that most of them are directly compatible with cine lenses or 35mm still lenses, for that sexy shallow depth-of-field you can’t get on video without a clumsy adapter system (like I use).

The biggest advantage to using something like RED is it eliminates several steps in a typical workflow. There’s no scanning, no digitizing or capture; it’s immediately available. The same footage shot on set can be used for the poster in the lobby. Stills or motion with one-stop shopping. Plus, the cameras are small. Whether it’s RED or a competitor, such technology is certainly the future of both cinema and commercial imaging. When you consider what they do, the brains are a great value, but the components and accesories are ungodly expensive. Still, for pro filmmakers, an easy call.

Jim Jannard, RED’s founder, sold Oakley (his sunglasses company) to pursue this, and he often posts on the DVX User forums personally. Though their RED One camera has been available for some time, they’re a startup, and their reputation has at times been one of potential vaporware since they haven’t released any of their big guns yet, and many of the product shots are renderings at this point.

Official site

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Meth Lab for Flutie

Shamelessly pilfered from a variety of sources, here’s another collection of fake band names that made me giggle like a seventh grader. Some of these will turn up on MySpace profiles soon enough. I’d warn you about the offensive content, but I’m sure you’re desensitized by now.

Van Buren
Steamland Cleaver
Egregious Philbin
BarbraStreiszende Neubauten
Broughammer
Afraid of Canadians
The Mars Travolta
The Dixie Chicks With Dicks
Sweaty Jeeves
The Honeymoon Stitches
Crucifiction
Steely Flan
Harry and the Andersons
Tienanmen Squaredance
Assassinine
Lithp
Citronella Holocaust
ASCII/DC
Autistic License
Banjovi
Preparation Heche
Nutbutter
See Thomas Howl
The Jodie Sweetining
Our Band Name is a Complete Sentence.
Fillet Show
Joe Buck Yourself
Fudge Duckling
Goodcop, Buttercup
Testiclops
Bruised Cockles
The Beef Wellingtones
The Ump-Teens
Chuck Chuck Bo-Buck and the Banana-Fanna Four
The Illegitimate Resentments
Purgatori Spelling
Squirrel Practice
Snot Faucet
The Soggy Tacos

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Promo Copy Cats

Cutting through network promotions clichéd hyperbole. What they say. What they mean.

The show everyone’s talking about.
Everyone being those in our programming department whose jobs are on the line. It’s been a ratings disappointment despite the buzz cash we poured into ads and promotion.

See the show critics are calling “X.”
We doomed it with a bad time slot. Also, I told you, not everything we produce is reality-based.

The surprise hit of the season.
We underestimated audience tastes and only ordered eight episodes.

Presented with limited commercial interruptions by X.
All your favorite characters will be wearing X, driving X, and eating X. Thank your DVR for forcing us to remote-proof our shows.

Catch X at its new time.
The show got its ass kicked by the competition, so now it’s going slumming.

. . . with an ending you have to see to believe.
Horatio will remove his sunglasses and deliver a wry quip before a “to be continued” graphic blueballs you.

Promotional consideration provided by X.
It was very considerate of them to pay us or shower us with free schwag.

The television event of the year.
We’re betting the farm that you can be peer-pressured into watching.

Don’t miss an unforgettable X.
Wrangle the wife, because we’re about to inject some uncharacteristic sentiment.

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Truths, Vol. 6

Another installment of original musings:

• Borrowed time and stolen moments are those of which we take the most ownership.

• Dan Brown’s cure for writer’s block is to hang upside down. However, there is no known cure for ingesting his actual writing.

• Speeding up the music in a Cialis commercial creates a porn soundtrack. Porn in which man and woman bathe in separate tubs. Outdoors. What we can’t see is that his is filled with nearly four hours’ worth of ice.

• If Jesus ever does return, no one would even give him a book deal. He’d have better luck resurrecting as Heath Ledger.

• Chinese Democracy will achieve a better global reception than America’s version has.

• Most cameras tell the truth. Context is the lie. Editors distort and manipulate truth for a living.

• Drummers may not have as much sex as singers, yet their rates of venereal disease remain equal.

• Sometimes a loose G-string actually results in a high pitch.

• Reading without suspicion is more dangerous than blogging without authority.

• Judging a band’s quality by their MySpace playlist is like holding a wine-tasting in the restroom.

• Photoshop dermatology is far more effective than the real thing. And less painful than gastric bypass surgery.

• No one ever really wants to hear a bass solo except for other bass players. And even they’ll deny it.

• Art needn’t be appreciated to meet its definition.

• Twenty-four frames per second, 24 hours in a day. Coincidence? Yes.

• No one ever blamed a verbal gaffe on a microphone malfunction.

• Most writers are to social skills what greeting cards are to the illiterate.

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Portraits in Perspective

I’m teaching myself photography . . . [with a digital SLR] . . . and have been using family and friends for portrait practice. But the results so far are honestly not much better than those I created with my old point-n-shoot. What am I missing?

There are several elements that make portraits effective. One is setting: putting the subject in an environment that’s reflective of or complementary to their personality or occupation, depending on the purpose of the shot. If you’re profiling someone, you want the right background context. The bartender and his tappers. The chef at a produce market. A loner in a canoe in the middle of a lake. Using metaphor will add another dimension to the image.

Then there’s perspective. You’re passing a certain judgment on the subject by where you place the camera (why it’s called subjective camera instead of objective – well, that’s not really what it means, but bear with me here), and as you know, many creative endeavors were born simply by taking a common theme and shifting the point of view. A reflection of a dancer in her studio mirror. Looking down from an aerial. Underwater camera shooting what’s above. Using a wide-angle to exaggerate a body part. Maybe some verticals appear to imprison your subject.

Technically speaking, traditional portraits use long lenses, I’d say 80mm or more (or the long end of whatever zoom you can muster – just move the camera back for the desired framing). The reason is that it draws focus to your subject with a shallow depth of field. And it also has an appealing bokeh. A large aperture (like f2.8) will contribute to this as well – preferably both. You can also try putting more distance between your subject and background if using a wider lens.

I’m a fan of backlight, or rimlight, but it’s mainly just another function of separating the subject from the background, as is focus. Outside, I like to shoot into the sunlight, using it as backlight, and put a bounce card in front of the subject to fill in their face. You get two light sources for the price of one (free). And remember that many practical surfaces can be used to bounce as well: pages of a book, pillow, etc. In the absence of backlight, other techniques you can use for separation are color and contrast, by which I mean actually arranging the design of your location, wardrobe, etc. to make the subject pop. And speaking of, an eyelight is a nice touch, too, just to give a little sparkle in the pupil blackness.

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Fairy Dust Between the Sprockets

Having just been reduced to a wide-eyed nine-year-old all over again by witnessing E.T.: The Extraterrestrial in its high definition glory, and awing at the recent digital majesty of Wall•e, it brought to mind the question: what makes for magical cinema? What are the ingredients of timelessness? What’s the big diff between The Incredibles and Fantastic Four, yo?

Remember that we’re engaging multiple senses here, and the ears are half the experience. Music is the most effective manipulator of emotion. Just as with voice tone, notes and rhythm tell us how to interpret what the eyes see. Don’t believe me? Watch 2001: A Space Odyssey on mute. You’ll be asleep before the bone hits the ionosphere. Without that two-note ostinato of approaching doom, Jaws would just be some plastic fin ambling through water. If you take the Tchaikovsky out of Romeo & Juliet, you’re left with two horny teens in a staring contest. You may have no rational love for Bon Jovi, but if they were the soundtrack to your teen fumblings with bra clasps, it creates a Pavlovian response later. This is why advertisers pay a fortune to license those memories – er, songs. Instant emotion by association.

Music can also be used to opposite effect, whether it’s to lull us or invert expectations. Taxi Driver is one of my favorite themes, a romantic sax melody that rings in stark contrast to the scum-infested city that Travis Bickle describes. Or Poltergeist, the childlike, playful melody becomes ethereal and haunting only because of the images on screen. Notice how the best films leave breathing room for the music instead of cramming it into whatever silent nooks and crannies remain. Shots are extended beyond their natural-paced dialogue so that a musical cue can feed us subtext, or even replace what dialogue could never say.

Another contributor is point of view. Part of Spielberg’s appeal is that he uses the child’s perspective with his camera. Their whole world is tilted up, adult heads are cut off. The children are not looked down upon as they are in the vision of grown-up filmmakers. It hearkens to a time of innocence and wonder, and it’s fun for the viewer to feel that way again for a couple of hours. A more literal form of this is the subjective camera, putting us in their shoes. In The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, the viewer experiences what it’s like to be bed-ridden in paralysis with only one working (and often teary) eye, while all the world seems to happen just outside our limited view. Or in Being John Malkovich, where we have full use of his limbs and uh, other appendages. (The puppetry and portal aspects of that film are rare examples of effective lo-fi fantasy.)

Generally-speaking, the wider the lens, the closer we are to the human field of vision. It requires a lot more imagination, effort, and cash to fill that kind of frame, and films that make us feel immersed in these new worlds are more fantastical. Epic films with huge production design budgets have a greater chance at getting all the details right. On Battlestar Galactica, the entire set is camera-ready, so they can just point and shoot anything. We’re there. Whereas on something like Clerks, if they panned too far to the left, the illusion of a funeral home held together with popsicle sticks and duct tape may well collapse. A set that “breathes” goes a long way toward selling us.

Location-wise, the further it is from our own existence, the more we’re asked to suspend our disbelief, and hopefully be even more invested in the fantasy. The Fountain completely transported me, whereas Donnie Darko‘s world felt superimposed over my own own living room. There’s merit in each method, but I’m more likely to accept Hugh Jackman flying through the air than Jake Gyllenhaal. But there’s a line. Speed Racer may as well be a video game I’m so detached, yet Sin City felt like there was a handjob waiting for me in the alley. And they both used completely CGI environments. Setting a movie in space or underwater or in a castle or an insect colony prepares us for a magical event because we’re forced to cling to the “realities” presented to us rather than to our experiences and whatever filters life has processed them though. A whole post about location here.

Then of course there’s the stuff that actually happens. Plot, I believe they call it. Do the characters have powers? Better yet, everyone but the main character, perhaps? Are the stakes higher than just individual consequence? Does the resolution require them to perform some task they never thought they had within themselves? Self-sacrifice? Do they see the world in a new light as a result? Bigger than plot, there’s of course theme, which I’ve posted about before. As with metaphors, the best ones rely on universals, whether it’s honor versus love, redemption, individual versus institution, etc., and these will help lend your work a timeless quality, as will avoiding plot points based on specific dated technologies or pop-culture happenings. Such elements can still be used, it’s just best to relegate them to set dressing rather than motivation.

So . . . now you’ve just gotta put all that stuff in one script. Hey, good luck with that.

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Morbid George

A sad, sad day in the kingdom. George Carlin dead at age 71. I had the pleasure of seeing him live (rhymes with dive, not give – but both, really), as did many, thanks to his grueling tour schedule. Especially in later years, he loved to poke fun at Death, and I can only imagine what stipulations his will demanded. Here are a some morbid quotables clipped shamelessly from the man’s books.

“I enjoy watching reruns of Saturday Night Live and counting all the dead people.”

“A graveyard always has to start with a single body. Unless the local people get lucky and there’s a nice big bus accident in town.”

“When I was a kid, I can remember saying ‘cross my heart and hope to die.’ I’d like to confess now that I never really meant that second part.

“After you die, your stuff becomes your ‘personal effects.'”

“I’m always relieved when someone’s delivering a eulogy and I realize I’m listening to it.”

“If you find some time left on a parking meter, I think you should be able to add it to the end of your life. Minus the time you spent on hold.”

“I made a bargain with the devil. I would get famous, and he would get to fuck my sister.”

“I finally accepted Jesus. Not as my personal savior, but as a man I intend to borrow money from.”

“When a ghostwriter dies, how many people come back?”

“Imagine meeting your maker and finding out it’s Frito-Lay.”

“Heart disease changed my eating habits, but I still cook bacon just for the smell.”

“Life is a near-death experience.”

“If I had my choice of how to die, I would be sitting on the crosstown bus and suddenly burst into flames.”

“The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American just passed each other going in opposite directions.”

“I hope the world ends during the daytime. I want to watch the “film at 11.”

“Live and let live, that’s what I say. Anyone who can’t understand that should be killed. It’s always worked well in my family.”

“Just once I’d like to see a high-speed funeral procession. Maybe someday a race-car driver will put that in his will.”

“A great epitaph: I want everyone to know it was great being alive. I especially enjoyed fucking and going to the movies.

“One nice thing about being dead is that you immediately become eligible to appear on stamps and money.”

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