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The Golden Flix Awards 2009

Dec 31 2009 Posted by in entertainment | Comments Off on The Golden Flix Awards 2009

Hard to believe this is my fourth annual offering. After an exhaustive amount of deliberation, below you’ll find this year’s winners and runners-up, ready to populate your Netflix queue with months of quality entertainment.

The usual disclaimers apply. Though I’ve seen nearly 100 new movies this year, mostly on home video (so a few of these are late ’08), a number of the year’s notables have thus far escaped me, like Avatar, The Informant!, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, Bronson, The Hurt Locker, Kick Ass, and maybe a few others that some deem worthy. I also do my best to avoid watching bad films, so everything’s on a curve of sorts, catered to my personal tastes.

And now . . . let the wild rumpus start!

FUNNIEST DUDE
Zack Galifianakis, The Hangover
Sacha Baron Cohen, Brüno

FUNNIEST FEMME
Kristen Bell, Fanboys
Rinko Kikuchi, The Brothers Bloom

Weak sauce. Good for some supporting laughs, sure, but where are all the gut-busting female roles?

FILM THAT MADE ME SNARF SODA OUT MY NOSE
The Hangover
(500) Days of Summer

FILM NOT TO WATCH IN THE DARK
Martyrs
Grace

I wasn’t in love with either of these, but they’re the most category-appropriate of this year’s offerings I’ve seen. I’d suggest a double-feature of Trick ‘R Treat and Drag Me to Hell if you prefer your seat-jumping moments balanced with a dose of camp.

MOST WELL-DOCUMENTED
Anvil! The Story of Anvil
Food, Inc.

DRAMA KING
Sam Rockwell, Moon
Viggo Mortensen, The Road

DRAMA QUEEN
Julianne Moore, Blindness
Alison Lohman, Drag Me to Hell

It ain’t Shakespeare, but not exactly comedy either, and I loved Alison’s casting in this role. Not to mention being a good sport with all of Sam Raimi’s trademark actorly tortures. Apologies; I didn’t see many female-driven dramas this year, most notably The Blind Side or Julie & Julia.

BADDEST-ASS BADASS
Christoph Waltz, Inglourious Basterds
Minase Yashiro, The Machine Girl

SEXIEST STARLET
Kim Ok-bin, Thirst
Thandie Newton, RocknRolla

Why was this so hard to pick this year? Sure, Megan Fox was cartoonishly smokin in that piece of Transformers dreck, but I hated the way Michael Bay’s lens objectified her, and the bimbo from My Bloody Valentine 3D had to have been buck naked for what seemed five solid minutes, but that was more brave than sexy. I didn’t see that Jessica Biel movie. Meanwhile Zooey Deschanel was hypnotically adorable in (500) Days, but sexy‘s a stretch. Might need to rethink this category next year.

SURPRISE PERFORMANCE
Maya Rudolph, Away We Go
James Gandolfini, Where the Wild Things Are

BEST CAMEO
Harrison Ford, Brüno
William Shatner, Fanboys

BEST ENSEMBLE CAST
The Brothers Bloom
Star Trek

HARDEST ASS KICKED
Crank 2: High Voltage
Star Trek

Though I will confess the Paris sequence in G.I. Joe rocked, as did Watchmen‘s stunning recreations, and the realistic shootouts in Public Enemies.

MOST EFFED-UP TWIST
Thirst
Martyrs

CLEVEREST DIALOGUE
(500) Days of Summer
Inglourious Basterds

HIGHEST SCORING MUSIC
Clint Mansell, Moon
Michael Giacchino, Up

Where the Wild Things Are had one of my favorite scores of the year, as did Drag Me to Hell‘s gothic stylings, however I gave a nod to Giacchino partly because he also scored Star Trek.

COOLEST VISUAL STYLE
Watchmen
District 9

Can’t believe I haven’t found a place for Coraline yet, and it’s especially deserving here, as is Blindness for its set design and highly-stylized and reflective compositions. Still, Watchmen brought a much-beloved and nearly-unfilmable graphic novel world to life more faithfully than anyone could imagine, and District 9‘s verité stylings are so convincing you forget it’s half CG.

WANTED TO HATE, BUT DIDN’T MIND SO MUCH
My Bloody Valentine 3D
Angels & Demons

UNDER-THE-RADAR SURPRISE
Trick ‘R Treat
Redbelt

BEST IMPORT
Thirst
Tell No One

GEEKIEST BD/DVD EXTRAS
Star Trek
Watchmen

BEST MUSIC BD/DVD
Jeff Beck Live at Ronnie Scott’s
Stevie Wonder Live at Last

WORTHY FILMS THAT DON’T FIT ELSEWHERE
Adventureland
Religulous
Invictus

WORST WAY TO SPEND $9.25
Inkheart
G.I. Joe

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT
Up
Killshot

Don’t get me wrong, Up is nowhere near a bad film, a solid B even, it just didn’t spark that Pixar magic within me that I’ve come to expect. Killshot‘s reviews prepared me for its dreadfulness, but how do you fuck up good material this badly given such a cast? Maybe we should ask The Informers. . . Another dishonorable mention to JCVD, which wouldn’t normally even be on my radar, but friends made it sound like Van Damme was reinventing the genre. No, he just played himself with a little more vulnerability.

BEST FILM
District 9
The Road

With apologies to (500) Days of Summer, Moon, and several others listed above.

Note: I also saw Son of Rambow this year, too old for this list, but it would’ve swept a few categories last year when I was oblivious, so check it out if you haven’t.