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The Golden Flix Awards 2007

Dec 21 2007 Posted by in entertainment | Comments Off on The Golden Flix Awards 2007

Lace that corset up tight, apply your bronzer, spark the klieg lights and cue the timpani . . . it’s my second annual, highly-subjective, far-from-all-inclusive guide to the best films of the year! That I saw. Mostly via Netflix. One hand in my popcorn and the other latched firmly to the Franzia spigot.

Yes, I now fall into line with my mouth-breathing blogging brethren and play tastemaker while handing out these 25 coveted HTML envelopes. And now, live, on ten-second tape delay on a gorgeous night in cyberspace, this year’s winners and runners up. . .

FUNNIEST DUDE
Jonah Hill, Superbad
Seth Rogen, Knocked Up

FUNNIEST FEMME
Amy Poehler, Blades of Glory
Stacy Rock, Murder Party

FILM THAT MADE ME SNARF SODA OUT MY NOSE
Superbad
Black Sheep

FILM NOT TO WATCH IN THE DARK
Inland Empire
28 Weeks Later

FILM THAT OPENED MY MIND
Shortbus
Runnin’ Down a Dream

DRAMA KING
Joseph Gordon-Levitt, The Lookout
Ha-kyun Shin, Save the Green Planet!

DRAMA QUEEN
Laura Dern, Inland Empire
Ah-sung Ko, The Host

BADDEST-ASS BADASS
Javier Bardem, No Country for Old Men
Denzel Washington, American Gangster

SURPRISE PERFORMANCE
Michael Shannon, Bug
Glen Hansard, Once

SEXIEST STARLET
Sienna Miller, Factory Girl
Christina Ricci, Black Snake Moan

ADRENALINE WITHOUT CHEESE
The Bourne Ultimatum
Death Proof

MOST EFFED-UP TWIST
Save the Green Planet!
Bug

SNAPPIEST DIALOGUE
Black Sheep
Hot Fuzz

BEST ENSEMBLE CAST
Ocean’s Thirteen
Murder Party

MUSIC THAT MADE A FILM BETTER
Once
Ratatouille

COOLEST VISUAL STYLE
Across the Universe
Zodiac

WANTED TO HATE, BUT DIDN’T
Hostel: Part II
Disturbia

UNDER-THE-RADAR SURPRISE
Behind the Mask: the Rise of Leslie Vernon
Wristcutters: A Love Story

BEST TELEVIZZLE SHIZZLE ON DVD
Planet Earth
Not Just the Best of The Larry Sanders Show

ILLEST DVD EXTRAS
Blade Runner
The Third Man

GENIUS MUSICAL
Across the Universe
Once

BEST IMPORT
Hak Se Wui (“Election”)
The Host

WORST WAY TO SPEND $9.25
License to Wed
Beerfest

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT
300
Halloween (Zombie)

BEST FUCKIN’ FILM
The Lookout
No Country for Old Men
Atonement

Of course, a major caveat that skews the above is the fact that I haven’t seen many of the fall entries that often dominate awards season, including such likely gems as: There Will Be Blood, Gone Baby Gone, Michael Clayton, and Juno. Sorry. I really do want to. . . Conversely, I also witnessed almost none of this year’s dreck like The Number 23 or I Know Who Killed Me.

Long story short, I have no business handing out the above awards when I only watch predominately quality films that are out on disc. Then again, that’s how I keep down your subscription costs as well.