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Cold Hard Facts

Oct 09 2007 Posted by in entertainment | 2 comments

While taking in my prescribed weekly dose of NFL action, I was struck by something in a Coors Light commercial. Not struck in the same sense their customers should be for consuming that Rocky Mountain horse piss, I mean surprised struck. It was part of that campaign where they retrofit old post-game press conferences with new shots of toolish Coors fans asking setup questions from the peanut gallery whose punchlines then come from the now-retired and rotoscoped coach. You know, where they show how cold temperatures cause the can to change colors (in case the nerve endings in your hand fail). Obviously a nod to their blind patrons.

Anyway, the surprise was that one of these unfortunate souls took an on-screen drink of his hillbilly nectar. If you’re unaware of the “marketing code” that typically frowns upon this, you’ll at least now rewind through your vast commercial-viewing history and realize you’ve never seen this before. Some bimbo will begin to raise a bottle to her waiting collagen lips and then – “cut!” Or a still-foamy pint gets slammed down, empty (we all know there’s no foam left when you finish a normal glass of beer, so the implication is the person chugged it – also against code). These are only guidelines of course, and aside from self-regulation, what will and will not be shown is ultimately determined by the TV networks and our local “community standards” (the same ones that determine what is obscene or not, porn fan). Now, this Coors actor took a drink from a can, so we never saw any of that golden poison actually come into contact with his gullet as we would from a glass, but still, first time I’ve seen even that.

In my state, the same year they lowered the legal-intoxication limit, they lifted the ban on Sunday liquor sales. They have free in-store booze tastings. Hard-liquor television commercials. It seems an attempt to acknowledge personal liberties without sacrificing our puritanical history. Loosening the leash but shoring up the fence. Purchasing marijuana is a criminal offense here (and possession of one ounce brands you with automatic “dealer” status), yet you still have to pay tax on it with stamps you buy anonymously from the state, else if you get caught, you owe double tax. But they still can’t force me to drink Coors Light! Hey, it’s cool, I understand if you don’t like the taste of beer . . . we all know that light beer is actually for those who really just enjoy peeing a lot.

Oh, and don’t drink and drive. This message brought to you by the Anheuser-Busch Racing Team.

  1. chieftan10-13-07

    i thought i saw the same thing (dallas game?), and i found a bunch of those on youtube but didn’t see it. the deeny green one, right? the one i saw the guy in teh press throng just put his nose to the can and kind of swirled it but never took a drink. good post though.

  2. G10-13-07

    Yes, I’m pretty sure it was his Bears “crown their ass!” speech. When I wrote that post, I actually looked for proof on YouTube first and only found exactly what you saw, too. Hmm. I’m positive I saw the actor take a drink, though. he actually tipped the can up.