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The 2006 Golden Flix Awards

Dec 13 2006 Posted by in entertainment | Comments Off on The 2006 Golden Flix Awards

Yes, it’s the time when everyone makes their year-end best-of lists, and I’m no different (except that my opinions are right. . .). Damn you, Academy, you hear me pounding on the door, and I’ll keep scratching until you let me in to play your little reindeer games and get all those frickin’ sweet DVD screeners sent my way. (Please do not send me another Reindeer Games DVD.)

Keep in mind that I tend to rock the Netflix more than theatrical releases, so a few of these may actually be from last year. But the ass-groove in my couch can attest that I do voraciously consume movies, so you can trust me.

[CUE MUSIC] Ladies and gents, with only occasional further ado, here are this year’s winners and runners up!

FUNNIEST DUDE
Robert Downey, Jr., Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
Gregg Henry, Slither

FUNNIEST FEMME
Sarah Silverman, Jesus is Magic
Rosario Dawson, Clerks II

FILM THAT MADE ME SNARF SODA OUT MY NOSE
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
Thank You for Smoking

FILM NOT TO WATCH IN THE DARK
The Descent
Slither

FILM THAT OPENED MY MIND
Why We Fight
The Devil and Daniel Johnston

DRAMA KING
Ryan Gosling, Stay
Christian Bale, The Prestige

DRAMA QUEEN
Ellen Page, Hard Candy
Oksana Akinshina, Lilya 4-Ever

BADDEST-ASS BADASS
Phillip Seymour Hoffman, MI:III
Ellen Page, Hard Candy

SURPRISE PERFORMANCE
Pierce Brosnan, The Matador
Hugh Jackman, The Prestige

SEXIEST STARLET
Michelle Monaghan, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
Anne Hathaway, Havoc

ADRENALINE WITHOUT CHEESE
Running Scared
Casino Royale

MOST EFFED-UP TWIST
Hard Candy
Lucky Number Slevin

SNAPPIEST DIALOGUE
Brick
Clerks II

BEST ENSEMBLE CAST
A Prairie Home Companion
The Chumscrubber

MUSIC THAT MADE A FILM BETTER
The Woods
Hostel

COOLEST VISUAL STYLE
The Fountain
Domino

WANTED TO HATE, BUT DIDN’T
Match Point
Lord of War

UNDER-THE-RADAR SURPRISE
The New World
L’Enfant

BEST TELEVIZZLE SHIZZLE ON DVD
Robot Chicken
Arrested Development

ILLEST DVD EXTRAS
Sin City
V for Vendetta

GENIUS MUSICAL
The Fearless Freaks, The Flaming Lips
Dave Chappelle’s Block Party

BEST IMPORT
Sympathy for Lady Vengeance
Caché

WORST WAY TO SPEND $9.25
Last Days
Date Movie

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT
Jarhead
Superman Returns
Palindromes
The Chronicles of Narnia
X-Men 3
Breakfast on Pluto
Wordplay
Edmond

BEST FUCKIN’ FILM
Sympathy for Lady Vengeance
The Prestige

Unfortunately, I haven’t seen Babel or The Departed, and those would likely make the list. Wow, looking back, some bright spots, but not a banner year for films. It would be hard to top ’99, but that was seven years ago. . .

I’ll know this blog has achieved credibility when I see an actor headshot come across my desk with one of these awards listed as recognition on the back.