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Mute the Motormouths

Sep 24 2006 Posted by in entertainment | Comments Off on Mute the Motormouths

It’s NFL season. Got a 5.1 Dolby Digital system with HD? Get tired of the insightless windbag commentators? I do.

All you gotta do is reach around and unplug one of the wires from your center speaker (or just turn it off if possible). For live sporting events, all of the chatter is mixed to this channel only. Without it, it’s a whole new experience. Like being at the game. The drunk asshole behind you cursing the same chant ad infinitum. Vendors barking their “Buuud Light hee-yah! Co’ beer!” Bone-rattling hits from the parabolic field mikes (I worked sound for an ESPN Sunday Night game, and it was eye-opening). Peyton checking off at the line. Jaw-jacking linemen. The stadium announcer echoing in the distance.

You’ll still pick up the music cues, stereo whooshes from the graphics wipes, and you can hear how they change the mix between plays bringing the crowd and field up at the line of scrimmage. Heh, scrimmage. . . sounds like the film you scrape off pudding tops. Anyway, check it out, and we’ll see if we can put Joe Buck and Troy Aikman out of work.